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4:59 P.M. est.

Apparently Banana and Cheese have found the cookie jar. Interesting. We always thought that Cheese was the innocent one.

As The Door Closed...

Karen and Gale loaded their suitcases into the car, gave each cat one more pat on the head, one more stroke of the back, and closed the door behind them.

Banana jumped up on the window ledge and looked outside. “They’re gone! You know what this means!”

“Yeah,” Cheese responded, “it means you’re going to rush right out and eat all the food they’ve left and we won’t have any more until our other friend arrives to feed us. It MEANS I’LL STARVE!!”

“No, no, no…well maybe yes,” Banana looked doubtful. She shook her head, “NO! You don’t realize what this means, do you?”

Cheese wandered down the hall, his voice trailing back, “I wonder if they remembered to leave 2 cups of water for us? I don't think I can make it until our friend comes to give us fresh water later today. I'm so thirsty! Ack! Cough! Do you think they might…maybe…might…have left a faucet running?”

"ARGHHHH!” The annoyed Banana went running, as fast as she could, down the hall at Cheese, and knocked him over. “It means we can find that little black box, push the buttons until the television comes on, and then we can watch whatever we want!” Banana was panting, but Cheese couldn’t tell if she was excited or just out of breath from running.

After Banana had a little snack and Cheese had a little drink from both of the cups left in the bathroom, the cats went into the living room, found the little black box, and started pushing buttons. Pushing Button Number 6 caused the television to come on, and Banana put a little special lick on that button, so they could remember to push it again if they heard their other friend coming in the door to feed them.

The cats loved the Discovery Channel, so pushed more buttons until it came on the screen. After 37 hours of watching, they decided to push some more buttons. During the time Karen and Gale were gone, the cats slept, ate, looked at Twitch through the window…oh wait! CD has already told you all this!

But, she didn’t know (remember the special lick on the button?) that the cats also watched some cartoons (not enough cats), some soap operas (boring), some game shows (the excited people and all the yelling made Cheese nervous), some reruns of “Mister Rogers Neighborhood” (Cheese loved his voice; it was just so calm!), and after 2 full days of the Food Channel (Banana sat down on the little black box and Cheese could not push her off), the cats decided

to watch some old movies.

“The Cat in the Hat” was silly—Banana and Cheese loved to see what would happen next to the fish in the bowl.

“Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” sounded scary, but the cats watched it anyway. Humph!!!

The cats decided this one was a stupid movie because it was not about a cat…at…all.

They love the Cheshire Cat in “Alice in Wonderland”—he was mellow, and mysterious, and could even disappear! Everything a cat should be.

But by far, “That Darn Cat!” was their favorite—finally! A movie with a cat as the star!!!!

All in all, the cats are glad their people have come home. Banana missed her daily chats with Karen, and still has not been able to tell her all the details about the tips for cooking turkey that she picked up on the Food Channel—Banana talks, but Karen keeps going to sleep and misses the best part. Cheese is just happy that everyone is where they are supposed to be. And that special lick on the black box means the cats can still watch anything they want during the day.

But recently….Gale noticed something. “Hey!” she shouted. “Are you really taping ‘Man vs. Wild’ every night, Karen?!”

While The Girls Are Away, The Cats Will Play

I'm just the illustrator, so editor's get your red pens out. You will have a field day with editing my post. And you will see why Gale is the talented author and I am forbidden to write. Artists pay attention to colors not misspelled words or where the commas go.

Enough. Let me tell you why I am here.

Gale and Karen are away on vacation and I feel it's my duty to report on how Banana and Cheese are doing. Yesterday I paid a visit and while I can't tell you everything because I don't want to rat on the cat's, I can at least tell you the funniest. I know all of you cat's out there can relate.

Have you ever come home to the toilet paper unraveled and cleverly distributed throughout the house? Here's a peek as to what Gale and Karen are going to come home to and why.

Cat hair on the bed. I mean LOT'S of cat hair. After vacation it's always pretty clear that our feline family members have taken up your space on the bed. We all find this endearing because in our minds we think it is because they miss us and this is the closest they can be to us while we are away. Well, I have got news for you. Take a look at what I observed:

Banana and Cheese, don't worry. The rest of the secrets are mine to keep!

School Days

For almost every kid, teacher, principal, bus driver, lunchroom attendant, custodian, aide…you get the idea… in America, when the days of late August and early September arrive, it means one thing—it’s time to go back to school. Cats are lucky (or unlucky—it really depends on your point of view); they don’t go to school. Ever. Cats do not like to be told what to do, and while they are curious about things, they do not have the patience to learn to read about the things that interest them. They have paws, not fingers, so holding a pencil is hard—therefore, they do not write as well as humans do. Maybe that’s why they are so interested in the keyboard of my computer?

College kids go back to school too, and Cheese knew that because he saw Peter packing boxes, suitcases, laundry baskets, duffle bags, CD cases, and sniffenloofers (that last word was made up—I wanted to see if you were paying attention!). Seeing this made Cheese sad, because he liked to have Peter at home. Peter was really good at head rubs, he was a very clean animal, and he sometimes left melted ice cream in the bottom of the bowl for Cheese to lick—yum! Peter was also Cheese’s human—Peter thought he picked Cheese, but really Cheese chose to live with Peter and the rest of the family. Now Peter was leaving to go back to school, and Cheese’s heart hurt.

“What’s wrong with you?” Banana flicked her tail in Cheese’s sad-looking face. “You’ve been sitting here by the door all morning.”

“I’m waiting for my chance,” replied Cheese. His voice sounded mysterious, so Banana’s ears pricked up and she was instantly very curious.

“What chance? The birdbath is in the BACK yard, and there are birds in it! If you are quiet, you will get your chance to….surprise them! You haven’t caught one yet, but you’ve surprised lots of them.” Banana thought Cheese was confused about what he should be doing; after all, it was Friday afternoon, and that meant it was time for Cheese to jump at the birds in the birdbath.

“Oh, never mind,” sighed Cheese. “You wouldn’t understand. And, you couldn’t be quiet either.”

“Hmph!” Banana snorted. “I could be quiet for 14 seconds if I needed to. So there!” Banana stuck her tail in the air and walked toward the back door. At least she remembered her “obligations”, even if Cheese forgot.

Time passed (human time: 30 minutes. Cat time: who knows?). Karen and Gale helped Peter load the boxes, suitcases, laundry baskets, duffle bags, CD cases, and sniffenloofers (just making sure you’re still paying attention!) into his car.

“OOF! Whoa! What did you pack in this box, Mom?” Peter asked. “It’s heavy!”

I think it has your medicine kit, your boots, your ‘mom-is-worried-you-might-need-this’ stuff, and…CHEESE!” Gale yelled as Cheese’s head popped out from the top of the box.

“Ohhhh…I’m sorry, buddy, but they don’t allow cats in my apartment.” Peter gently lifted Cheese out of the box and put him on a nearby chair. “I’ll be back to visit you soon, I promise.”

Cheese jumped off the chair and ran from the room.

Banana found him curled up on Peter’s bed; the comforter and sheets were gone, but it still smelled like Peter, and that made Cheese feel better.

“Hey,” Banana said quietly, “It’s almost time for dinner. Then it will be bedtime, and then you know what? We can get up early and watch the cool buses go by the front window! Remember how those kids bounce up and down when the driver hits the bump in the road? That’s funny!!!!”

Cheese smiled, just a little.