Banana and Cheese: A Guide to Feeding Squirrels

Banana and I have spent a lot of time observing squirrels; sometimes in our backyard, and sometimes in our front yard.

Therefore, we feel very qualified to give you our list of things to feed, and not to feed, our furry four-footed friends.

First, our list of things NOT to feed to the squirrels:

1) Steak. Squirrels will eat meat; we’ve heard that they will even eat hamburgers if they live near college students. But squirrels will not eat steak because they rarely have steak sauce in their nests.

2) Ice cream.Squirrels are very slow eaters, and they hate it when ice cream melts all over their fur. Also, unless they know you very well, they will not come down from the tree to take the frosty treat before the ice cream has softened into a puddle.

3) Cardboard. Banana pushed a piece of cardboard under a tree just last week, thinking she might fool a squirrel into coming down for “pizza”, but she soon found out squirrels are very, very clever.

4) Goldfish. We’ve talked to some of our cat friends, and nobody has ever seen a squirrel dip a paw into a pond. Likewise, no squirrel has been silly enough to fall into a pond (unlike some friends we know…Twitch!).

5) Cat food. That’s just wrong! Very, very wrong, and they will not like it. Trust us when we tell you to feed cat food only to cats. Banana suggests that you feed cat food to cats quite often.

Now, our list of things Banana and I think people ought to feed to squirrels (especially if we can watch):

1) Spaghetti. Although we have never witnessed it, trust us when we tell you that squirrels love spaghetti. But, before serving spaghetti to squirrels, please invite Banana and I to your house. We want to laugh at…I mean…watch them as they try to suck those noodles into their mouths. We think it would be very funny…I mean…nutritious to serve spaghetti to squirrels.

2) Meatballs. See spaghetti (above). If you served spaghetti and meatballs at the same time, that would be hilarious…I mean…a complete meal. It makes Banana and I want to break into song (please join us):

“On top of spaghetti,

All covered with cheese,

I lost my poor meatball,

When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,

And on to the floor,

And then my poor meatball,

Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,

And under a bush,

And then my poor meatball,

Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty

As tasty could be,

And then the next summer,

It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,

All covered with moss,

And on it grew meatballs,

And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,

All covered with cheese,

Hold on to your meatball,

Whenever you sneeze.”

3) Corn. Squirrels really do like corn. Banana and I like it when Gale hangs the corn on our corn cob feeder; the squirrels spin around and around as they try to get the kernels off the cob. Very entertaining, and nutritious too.

4) Sunflower seeds. Squirrels like sunflower seeds…a lot. I think they like them mostly because cats do not like sunflower seeds.

5) Bagels. Another food that is amusing for cats, tasty for squirrels. We especially like it when the squirrels put their paw through the middle, and twirl the bagel as they eat it.

For more information on squirrels, check out this website:

http://www.squirrels.org/

And, if you would like to sing along with the song, “On Top of Spaghetti”, here’s a great YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0jLgf8rK4c